Does the prospect of embracing your days as an "ordinary human being" seem unappealing to you? Why? Being "ordinary" is the single most "extraordinary" act one can indulge in. It's easy to be 'special'. No talent required, (just follow the crowd; learn how to imitate and be phony) It's really quite simple to engage your effort in trying to be 'wonderful'. But, once you realize and exercise your 'natural and convenient' manner with no excuses or apologies, life becomes magical. (IT already was but you were too busy trying to be accepted and acknowledged to see it.)
Mistakes happen all the time: or so it seems. You miss an appointment. You forget to call someone back. You overlook someone's birthday. You spill your guts at an inappropriate time. You interpret another's words as insults. You expect a response for your kindness. You get passed over for a hard earned promotion. You trust someone who you find out later is a person who is not especially trustworthy. You discover inadvertently you've been a part of a conspiracy to get someone fired. You lash out in anger at another when the person is not deserving of your wrath. You blatantly refuse an opportunity that later appears to have been rewarding and monetarily worthwhile. You suspect someone for an injustice who was in no way involved. You doubt your own convictions. You repeat yourself. You cheat whenever opportunity presents itself IF you think you won't get caught. You act in haste. You jump to conclusions. You lead a double life; showing a face of purity while harboring and acting upon immoral/illicit sexual fantasies. You comment on a matter that does not concern you. You grow weary and tired of an involvement that proves to be successful IF you had only stuck it out. You never get over the heartbreak of your first love, harboring unfinished emotional business. You accuse another of stealing. You lie to cover up an insecurity, fear or prejudice. You talk just a little too loud and too long. You physically, mentally, verbally or financially cause someone you supposedly care about harm. You envy another's good fortune bemoaning your own. You are unfaithful. You are jealous and pretend not to care. You are deceitful but smile so no one will know. You gossip for entertainment. You laud your convictions and beliefs on another. You manipulate someone to get what you desire then justify the means. You oversell and understate. You profess to be religious but speak ill will toward another. You're intolerant and bigoted. You deny an action which openly implicates your lack of responsibility. You use another for your own benefit or glory. You secretly lust after your friend's partner. You accuse your mate for having been unfaithful. You say you're not home when someone calls. You lie about the father of your child. You exaggerate a story to make yourself look better. You cheat on your diet.
Along with a 1000 other unfortunate incidents you don't care to think about or would like to diminish your involvement. You tell yourself, "It isn't/wasn't that bad." If by chance, you are discovered for the unpleasant act, and if it threatens your security/well-being or public/professional standing, you do a double-take reassessing your current position. You manipulate the circumstances quickly in your behalf. You are quite successful at convincing others (and yourself) how truly sorry you are for what you did wrong. But, you know the truth. You KNOW how it makes you feel each time you remember the incident. You 'say' you are remorseful and truly 'sorry', and that you won't ever make the same mistake again. If only you're given another chance, you will not be so inconsiderate and careless. You will try to do so much better. Not so, my dear Amigo.
Let's be square and get real. The truth is: You hate being 'called out' 'showed up' {placed in a subordinate position} whereby you are displayed like a guilty rabbit. You don't like the obligation of appearing to give over your power. You will not be beholding to anyone. [It makes you feel helpless and weak.] Even though you apologize, you don't mean it, nor do you like doing it. In fact, you detest it. It makes you feel small and insignificant. Powerless. Unduly interrogated. When you go through all of the dramatic gestures involved in the hoop lah of the "I'm so sorry' façade, you experience an automatic righteous indignation. Even if you wanted to feel something clean and pure, you couldn't and don't. You end up feeling worse for having apologized. It's a hard to define ill-fated sensation, like you owe the other person some sort of unstated debt. {Maybe a sense of thwarted gratitude, even for his/her having forgiven you.} Yuck! A sensation of bribed or contrived obligation begins to silently choke you. The mental division has been planted. This nagging ambiguity sets up a 'highly sensitive subtle revenge apparatus' acting as a defense mechanism set to detonate at a later time. Sure, you offer reasonable acceptable excuses, explanations and rationalizations so cleverly and emotionally invented by you to make up for your so-called misaligned indiscrete actions. Face it: unless the outcome of this shenanigan brings you more benefit in some immediate obvious way, you will no more than, force (parrot) the words, "I'm sorry" from your lying lips resenting every letter uttered. On top of that noble charade, you are supposed to 'act like' you care so much more afterwards about the other person's welfare when all the while you do not. {Unless, as I've already stated, the predetermined outcome is directly linked to you in some way and will cause or caused a personal loss/hardship of some kind} Then, you really put on a 'high dollar' Las Vegas Style showcase pleading and begging remorse. Still, you are not 'sorry'. Why? Because you have nothing to be sorry for!
Nothing happens by accident. There are no mistakes. Everything transpires exactly and precisely as it did/does for reasons you are incapable of knowing at the time. Whether you accept this statement as fact or fallacy, the fact remains. Nothing can ever be any different than it is!!! Just because you are not in a position to comprehend the multidimensional expansive network of tentacles operating behind the scenes in the Cosmos does not negate the "straight and narrow "{few people ever find} line of fused reality we all walk. We are only privy to a certain limited amount of information at the time in question. You can only do what you did under the circumstances offered. There's so much more unseen than seen. And, the penchant of information we are given will, no doubt, be slanted and colored according our present level of knowledge in regards to the totality of our life's path. In other words, it all depends upon your grasp of the DEPTH OF DRAMA you need to the responses in various situations. That's right. Drama. Good old Human drama. {Nothing like emotional drama to magnify and solidify the experience of playing the part of a genuine human being.} No other action can be quite as effective as a real life verbally/physically explosive or tenderly tear jerking moving scenario of dramatic emotion. We are all governed and controlled by it. We're supposed to be. That's the nature of the game. To be born on Earth for the experience of what it entails. That is how we conquer our inexpressible divine task. What else would be the point of coming to Earth except to experience fully the ups and downs of human existence? [To experience the Song of Humanity in all its vilest performances.]
The plain truth is: We are all doing time here on Earth. There's nothing we can do about it. In fact, there's nothing we want to do about it. Our lives are determined by what we need to experience to grow out of the illusion of being mere flesh. The irony of the situation: We would not alter even one iota of any event or situation that has or ever will take place. {That's the red jellybeans at the bottom of the jar.} IF it occurred, IT occurred like IT was supposed to, period. No other way or recourse could have taken its place. Your life is perfect. My life is perfect. Every event is divine. We are all Masters of Divine Essence who have simply forgotten our sacred artistic heritage. And, it is by and through the daily Earth Walk, {including every single miserable thing, person, place, event, circumstance and flavor} we will ever go through that causes us to remember {glimpses, anyway} of who and what we really truly are. We are creators of unutterable dimension. [Capable of extraordinary feats!] But, though we are aware of this astonishing truth, we are still completely incapable of controlling our emotions. We are torn asunder by them. Either elated or depressed; we rarely find the middle ground. We remain divided. One writer expressed it so aptly, "I do what I don't want to do and don't do what I want..." {paraphrased} That is why we feel compelled to right our 'supposed wrongs," even IF we suspect the sacred vow of accepting instinctively that everything is alright. (literally: ALL RIGHT)
How long must we walk on this road of disheartening despair until we realize the flow is the go. IF things don't turn out the way we think they should, accept that they did. IF someone leaves our life before we think we wanted them to, realize we were ready. IF something apparently bad shows up at our door, don't bar it, (worrying, fretting, condemning, fighting) fling it open and invite the so-called bad in. {"Resist not evil and it shall flee from thee."} It can do no more than what it is supposed to do and it would be impossible for you to stop whatever is going to happen, anyway. IF you don't get the job, move on. There's another place for you. IF someone breaks your heart; say "thank you." IF it seems as if an injustice has occurred, realize the scales are not balanced from your bird's eye view. If you hurt someone, accept the reality that IT occurred for many more reasons and responses than you could ever comprehend. Can you see a little clearer through the 'human tears' of the experience? Do you see the pattern of 'emotional stagnation' unfolding? Are the stage lights bright enough for you to watch your overblown drama? Bottom line: You ain't that special to be running the show from what you KNOW. There's something way bigger than your personal interpretation occurring.
It's glorious to be alive and human. No greater joy and pleasure to be had. But, none of it comes from the outside. You are carrying a revered destiny of which must unfold exactly and precisely as the distinct human being you are with all the frailties attached. Every single unpleasant thing that you have ever had the sacred pleasure of being involved in is necessary. What has seemed so wrong is, in fact, correct. That's the part, you try to gloss over. You can not skip over that part!!! You are expressing the Divine Intent as only you are destined to do. No one is keeping a thing from you. No one has done you wrong, ever. You have not been cheated, abandoned, manipulated, abused, forgotten or defeated. Never! You have never been powerless and overlooked. No matter the traumatic circumstances of your childhood. You are alive today, right? You made it through your own incredibly disastrous scenario. The only harm you suffered is in your mind as you replay exaggerated pitiful victimized emotions.
Get over yourself. Get back to work. Go to the bottom of your mountain, fetch those 10 gallon buckets. Throw them over your shoulder; carry them to the well of your life. Fill them up to the brim with your personal experiences. Get back up here with some freshly imbued water. Don't poison it with unnecessary exaggerated self-importance, gloatings, complaints, moanings and groanings carried over as if you really believe what you're doing matters. Other people are doing the same thing. People are thirsty. People are hungry. People are tired. People are disillusioned. People are disgusted. People are eager to know what it's like. Waiting in line to get a chance to experience what it really means to be a passionate endowed fully convinced grateful ordinary human being. Just do it.
Proud Native {Born, Bred, and Resident} of North Carolina, married 39 spectacular years, 6 children, 11 grandchildren.
I am passionate about love, living, laughter, liberty, learning, listening, loosening up, lounging, lunch, liveliness, literacy, lip stick, letting my hair down, leaping, leaning, libido, lifting, linking, looking, lodging, lemons and lyrics.
My personal and professional background is wide and varied. I have a BS in Communication with a MA in Art Education. I am a Cosmic Therapist, artist, entertainer, singer/songwriter, musician, composer, playwright, perfumer, author, teacher, speaker, poet and self-taught chef.
I am also a radio/television talk show creator, host and director. In addition when I'm not busy, I maintain a presence at M.O.D.E International School of Esoteric Arts and Sciences of which I founded many years ago.
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