2012年2月24日 星期五

Body Image for Our Times


Those two words are the biggest mouthful ever! (no pun intended). I'm wondering how you feel about the image you have of your body. What's it like to live in your body? I wonder what the external images on TV, social networks, magazines, and billboards everywhere do for your self image. I wonder if you can imagine being so happy with the image you see every day reflecting back your most beautiful and authentic self that you don't even think of body image as an issue for you.

Are you smiling? Even a little with that first sentence. I want you to be comfortable with this subject. Because most women are not comfortable even thinking about these words, although they actually think about their body image off and on here and there from childhood to old age. Especially women. It's hard right from the time we stopped nursing, if we were lucky enough to be nursed for a long time. Body conjures up pictures and words that are sublime and beautiful, nurturing and nourishing. The word body also conjures up pictures and words that thwart your feeling of confidence, comfort and joy. Words that hurt you more than they hurt anyone else, and pictures that are most likely distorted about the way you see yourself in the mirror. The word image is a reflection of your self. Imagine if you saw your self the way God sees you? Imagine if what you saw in the mirror right now is the image of a magazine cover model or whatever you think of as the most beautiful woman in the world. Do you really think you'd be happier, more successful and live with more peace than you do right now? If you're reading this you are probably thinking you're a lesser version of your most lovely self. You may be planning of ways to improve on your body parts. You may feel like the right cream, treatment, nip or tuck would change your life for the better. And the words 'if only' may be at the top of your favorite descriptive list. Worry not, for here are new ways to perceive your self. Simple places to put your attention on in order to alleviate the stresses of wanting to be different than you are in this very moment.

Body image is strongly affected by food and drink choices. By sleep or lack of it. By feeling loved or feeling rejected and abandoned. Doing fulfilling work and being part of family, animals, friends, nature, community and society at large affects your body image in a positive way. Focusing on lack, excessive bad stress and problems that may be out of your control, all inhibit your positive body image and you fall into the negatives of addictions, distorted thoughts and disturbed ways of looking at yourself. If you are constantly talking about, putting your attention on, and living with life's stresses in a glass half empty sort of way you become worn down and this affects the image you have of your self. On the other hand, if you understand that many of life's stresses can be good because of the way they move us forward, show us contrast in our life and inform our lives, then your body image is vastly improved and you won't be comparing yourself to the airbrushed images of our society. You'll feel completely at ease and then be able to watch the image you see before you improve and please you. I believe it's a mater of where you place your attention.

Let's try an exercise. Instead of what you're used to thinking when you think of the words 'what if', how about this? What if:

• you surprisingly began to quite naturally accept your body, rest in it's care, and allow it to speak to you as you listen for deep inner guidance and wisdom on what it wants?

• you allowed your body to do the things it's afraid of, as long as you know you'll be safe and free, although a little outside your comfort zone to start.

• the image you saw when you glanced, not stared, into the mirror reflected a quiet, serene, content person and you are struck by the fact that you didn't even 'see' the face, the flaws and the phobias, just your own beautiful eyes?

• the body you lived in loved being there, rather than put down, neglected, stuffed, sickened, and made dull. What if the body you lived in felt accepted, and felt the gratitude and appreciation for it's trillions of daily functions on it's own thank you very much. What if you felt you were truly one with your body? What would your life look like then?

• what if the words body image took on the meaning of peaceful embrace? Vibrant physicality? Sharp and focused clarity of mind? Restful Spirit? All together living in harmony.... where body image meant the wholeness of you. Not just the stuff of the physical seen world.

It's a tough one. Body image. I believe it all comes down to trial and error, courage and consistency, and self love. Try different ways to live with the image you have of yourself. Try to become clear with your feelings. Write them down. Answer that question on paper. Go deeper. Delve a little further beneath the surface of your first thoughts. Keep going. Can't think of anything? Stuck? Unsure? Finished? Nope. Not a chance. Take a deep breath... inhale to the count of 8, hold your breath for the count of 8 and exhale slowly to the count of 8. Do this a few rounds. Drop down into your heart from your mind by picturing an elevator and count backwards from ten to one. Ten being the mind, one being your heart. Do it half a dozen times. Feel more heart centered where no judgment lives. There. Now I'm curious as to what's coming to you. Keep writing. After you think you're done, reread and try to summarize in a couple of sentences. Now reword the image you have of your self until it feels comfortable for you. This isn't about changing drastically or unrealistically anything about your self, rather, shifting your perspective so there's room for something new. Like a new way of thinking. Like new ways of acting. Like clearer choices that reflect who you are now versus any other moment in the past.

Now try a jotting down just a couple of ways you can improve your life thus improving your body image. It can be as simple as choosing something, anything else other than soda for a few days. After the headaches of withdrawal, see how you feel. Trial and Error. It can be anything. Go ahead and write for a moment, I'm sure you have ideas already. You've started shifting your perspective and I bet you feel a little excited about all the possibilities and that hope still exists!

Courage and Consistency. The courage to look at your life in a new way. Any new way for now. It doesn't necessarily mean you need to be harshly honest with yourself in this moment if you're not feeling good about your body, because chances are you'll be rather brutal and it'll defeat the purpose of what you're open to doing. This moment is about softening to a new way of being. To have the courage to do that you need to be gentle. You need to be easy with yourself. You can't beat yourself up, because remember one of our unspoken goals is to allow your body to feel accepted and nourished so it can speak to you from the depths of truth and guide you to a wonderful body image. So have the courage to be soft and gentle with your words when speaking to yourself from now on. Just that little suggestion has the power to change your life. It has changed mine! There are so many ways to be courageous and consistent with your new choices. Keep doing little things on a consistent basis that feed your soul and nourish your emotions rather than feeding your body excessively and nourishing your endless chatter of a monkey mind.

Self love is the other piece that will grow naturally and organically if you choose to try the suggestions above. That's why I placed it last and certainly not least. Starting with self love can be difficult if you're in the superficial world of body image. At the deeper level of body image comes a feeling of love for your self that in and of itself can enhance all the suggestions above. As above so below. As below, so above. As within, so it is expressed, reflected and expanded outwards. How's your body image right now? I hope you're a little less attached to any negativity.

Body image changes throughout life. It morphs from non awareness at times because you're so engaged in life and your body has cooperated in helping you feel slim and lovely; to feeling in the dumps because you are actually disconnected from your body but you'd probably think something simple like you're just too fat, too tall, too this or that or not enough of this or that! It changes when you change and as you grow from a girl child into a young woman. Your body image shifts more apparently when you shift from a woman of child bearing years, to peri menopause and beyond. And shifts again as you settle into twilight years. It sure can be a rollercoaster, however, armed with a few important tools, tips, tricks and the hourglass of time, you can choose to feel blessed and happy with the beautiful temple you were given to house your sacred spirit. Check out other articles I've written on the specifics of a nutrient dense diet; easy simple recipes for our modern times, and the art of meditation in motion. Enjoy your new journey to a positive and wonderful new body image!




Cynthia De Pecol is a sophisticated life coach who inspires successful and intelligent women by providing ways to connect with their deepest longings for peace and balance in all areas of their lives. Her practice of 12 years combines the best of ancient and modern holistic ways to live that are perfectly suited for each individual. You can visit her website at http://www.lifecoachingllc.com.





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